


Call disconnected – Jisung

by InoruMarufuji



Series: Nightmare [6]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bine you have a VIP pass so feel free to enter, Bine's Birthday Celebration: SKZ Nightmare Series, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Disjointed narrative, Gen, Hallucinations, I don't think there's any hope for me, Keep walking, No Spoilers, Puzzle fic, THIS HELL IS MEMBERS ONLY, Unreliable Narrator, lots and lots of it, triggering elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21861460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InoruMarufuji/pseuds/InoruMarufuji
Summary: [M̳a̳z̳e̳ ̳o̳f̳ ̳M̳e̳m̳o̳r̳i̳e̳s̳|Side Effects][6/9] Right now, I feel like I've seen the future from yesterday. - Maze of Memories
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: Nightmare [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569787
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Call disconnected – Jisung

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/gifts).



> Two thirds done!

[ **Maze of Memories** | ~~Side Effects~~ ]

It was Minho's number.

_Sorry, the number you have reached is not in service at this time._

It was his number.

Jisung was certain of it.

_Please check the number or try your call again._

He'd called it a million times already, always able to compose the digits off the top of his head without even thinking about it, so he knew there was no way he could have gotten it wrong.

No matter how utterly confused and scared he was at that moment, no matter how mushy his brain was, how tired his body was, there was absolutely no way that he would ever mess up this number.

His fingers were shaking from the cold, but the digits that were displayed to him on his phone were all correct, so he didn't understand why his call hadn't gone through, why Minho hadn't picked up like he always did, his voice a barely repressed mix of joy and playful annoyance every time he answered.

He was always looking forward to Jisung's calls, always made sure to pick them up at the earliest possibility as if he was waiting for the younger to finally reach out to him.

And Jisung always did, he always called Minho whenever he couldn't find him in the dorm, always seeking reassurance of the fact that although his hyung was out doing stuff, taking a walk, enjoying some time alone, buying necessities or luxuries, he would always return in the end.

Their ritual had been established like this way before any of this shit started happening, way before everything had started to slowly fall apart from inside out without anyone even knowing why.

All hell had suddenly broken loose, but in the weird, quiet kind of way that had caused a shiver to crawl up Jisung's spine because he had _felt_ the disaster hitting them, but he hadn't seen anyone acknowledging it.

Except Minho.

Minho had freaked out big time, in the silent, brooding kind of way first, only letting bits and pieces of his panic seep through before out of nowhere, he had become verbal, angry, _violent_ to the point Jisung had started to be afraid.

Not necessarily afraid of Minho himself, but afraid of his actions, of his feelings, of his _thoughts_.

He didn't know where his mind was and it was the most terrifying experience Jisung ever had to make, suddenly not knowing what reaction to expect when he snuck into Minho's room at the crack of dawn to cuddle, when he scooted closer to him at dinner or when he called him randomly like this when he was worried about his hyung.

But granted, he would have taken just about any reaction over the one he was getting now.

Nothing.

Just a monotone voice informing him over and over that Minho's number wasn't in service anymore and advising him to try his call again.

He hated that voice, hated how it was the only sound in the soundless void around him, even as people scurried past him with their shopping bags and their dogs and their children and their perfectly normal life.

They were chatting, he could see their mouths moving, could see them closing their eyes as a fit of laughter overcame them, could see them pouting, screaming, crying, singing, but he didn't _hear_ anything and he couldn't understand why.

There was bound to be noise in the world except the voice on his phone, but how could he enable it?

_If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator._

Jisung kept holding the phone to his ear, still clinging to some sort of hope that Minho would pick up and penetrate the eerie silence around him with a rushed apology about being distracted or having been busy or anything alike.

But of course, nothing happened.

He kept waiting though, as his feet were dragging him down the street, away from the pharmacy where he had bought some painkillers for Felix, away from the masses of people that were out on this day despite the icy temperatures.

He yearned to hear Minho's warm voice, capable of melting all the ice that was clinging to him, his features, his clothes, his heart all captured by a layer of it, sparkling in the weak sunlight.

Even the display of his phone was coated with some frost snow, its iciness attacking his ear and trying to freeze it over, but he had gotten numb to the sensation over time.

_If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator._

A loud, obnoxious rasping sound suddenly boomed out of his phone and he flinched, almost dropping the device in the process as the off-hook tone screeched into his ear without stop.

He wildly tapped on his screen, ending the call at last, leaving him with an awful ringing that was burned into his brain.

Minho's name looked up at him from the screen in red, next to it the number 86, indicating that Jisung had failed to reach him the last 86 times he had called.

He wasn't picking up and it sent Jisung's mind into panic, all sorts of scenarios running through his head of what could have happened to him.

He knew getting agitated like this wasn't helping anyone, least of all Minho, but he couldn't help worrying.

He just wanted to hear his voice again, his soothing words, his quiet laughs, everything about him that made Jisung's stomach do summersaults, but he wasn't here and nobody knew where he had run off to.

His members were straying, doing their groups' name justice at least, but he didn't like how they kept distancing themselves, how they kept fighting and screaming and hitting each other, how there was none of that brotherly love left that made their home such a comfortable space.

Even when he tried to initiate a group hug or engage the members in some cuddling, all he got were scoffs and icy gazes and harsh words along the lines of ''Not right now'' and he didn't understand.

What had happened?

Without even realizing, his fingers found their way to a little button in the corner of the call screen and he pressed it absentmindedly, only realizing what it was when he heard Minho's voice filter through the void.

_''Hey. Jisung.''_

Replay.

It was a function that was highly debated amongst the phone industry since it recorded private calls and stored them on the phone which made people fear their information and conversations would be handed over to the government without their permission.

In all honesty, it probably was exactly like that, but right now Jisung wasn't about to complain about that.

_''Hyung, where are you?''_

_''On the beach. I'm watching the sunset.''_

The smile was audible in his voice and it made Jisung tear up as he remembered the evening and the conversation he'd had with Minho.

He really didn't want to put himself through this again, but at the same time, he was addicted to that sweet voice and the idea of Minho smiling.

He hadn't done so for a long time.

_''Is it pretty?''_

_''It's you.''_

He'd been confused about that wording, but not for long, as he had been distracted by the sigh Minho had heaved.

Pure bliss.

There was a short moment of silence on the phone.

_''It's heaven.''_

The recording ended with a click and Jisung's heart fluttered once again as he scrolled down the list of calls he could go through.

He randomly chose one.

_''-so whipped, seriously!''_

_''Shush, Felix!''_

Ah. This conversation.

Felix had decided to flop down on Jisung's bed just as he had called Minho that night, demanding attention and cuddles from him, and of course he had supplied like the good friend he was while simultaneously trying to concentrate on what Minho had rambled on about.

He'd been a little tipsy that night and had gotten lost on his way home, hence why Chan had volunteered to pick him up at one in the morning.

_''Did you know there's a city in the sky, Jisung?''_

No greeting, no acknowledgement, it had just been that question and admittedly, he'd been a little taken aback at first because at the time he hadn't known just how drunk his hyung had been.

_''Hyung? What? Are you okay?''_

_''I'd like to take you there, it's so calm and peaceful. It'd be like paradise up there, don't you think?''_

_''Correction, you're **both** whipped, oh my goodness.''_

_''Felix, shut it!''_

_''I can see so many stars from here, it's beautiful. I wish you were here right now.''_

That smile in his voice. It was enough to melt entire glaciers in the middle of winter.

_''I'm not wearing a jacket, but I'm still warm when I think about you, is that weird?''_

Jisung ended the recording right there.

It could have gone on for two more minutes if he had let it, Minho talking about anything and everything while keep mentioning the city in the sky that he wanted to show him while Felix made fun of the fact that they were so obviously in love until Hyunjin had all but dragged him out of the room.

He scrolled through the list, this time upwards, to the more recent conversations that weren't as pleasant to listen to.

It filled him with dread to see them neatly placed in that list as well, as if they were just as innocent as the older calls, as if they fit right in.

But they didn't.

_''Hyung?''_

Minho had picked up, but he wasn't saying anything, merely his heavy breathing reached Jisung's ears, mixed with the waves that kept crashing on the beach.

He was much closer to them, it seemed, and he remembered his heart dropping into his stomach for a moment at the lack of a response.

_''Hyung? Hello?''_

_''Yeah. Hello.''_

Minho had quietly laughed to himself and Jisung had almost allowed himself to sigh in relief, but it was a good thing he hadn't because suddenly, the laughing turned into sobbing and the recording broke off.

He hesitantly clicked the next one, the one that was one step closer to the final call he had received from Minho.

_''Hyung-''_

_''I still feel the same.''_

No context. No explanation. No nothing.

Just a voice that sounded close to tears, belonging to a person that was close to falling apart, close to hyperventilating, close to snapping.

_''What the fuck is wrong with me. I didn't want to do this, I never asked to know about this, what the fuck...''_

_''What's going on? What do you mean?''_

A long pause. Irregular breathing.

And then a scream.

A scream that pierced through Jisung like an arrow.

Next recording.

_''H-''_

_''They're searching for him.''_

His voice was breathless this time, as if he had run a marathon, as if he had tried to get away from something, maybe even from time itself.

_''What?''_

_''But they will never find him.''_

Chilling words, but at the time all Jisung had felt was confusion.

He hadn't even gotten to ask Minho what the meaning of this was, his hyung had just ended the call without another word and that had been the end of it.

At the time he'd made that call, Minho had already been gone for the dorm for more than a week and it would take about a week more until he received the last call.

He swallowed uneasily, mentally preparing himself for this daunting task as he leaned against a wall, suddenly feeling a little weak in the knees.

He got some weird stares from people that passed him, but chose to ignore them because really, it wasn't important right now.

He was in his own world, no matter if for better or for worse, and in this world, nothing existed except these conversations with Minho because no matter how grim some of them might be, they were still undeniably _Minho_ and that in itself was enough comfort to make him press replay.

_''I did something. I did something terrible. I'm so messed up. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.''_

The recording screwed with Jisung's mind.

He desperately wished to talk to Minho, to comfort him, to hug him and tell him that everything was alright, but he couldn't do that.

_''Please come back to me.''_

His own voice echoed in his ears and he unconsciously turned the volume up to better hear the way Minho's breath hitched.

_''I...''_

He was audibly fighting to get the words out, his voice strained and shaky as it climbed up his throat.

_''I can't come back until-''_

_Sorry, your call has disconnected. Please hang up and try again._

Jisung sighed.

He didn't know why he had thought he would hear something different than the last twenty times he had listened to this replay, but he guessed it was just the hope that still flimmered in the corners of his heart.

The hope that Minho would really come back from wherever he currently was, explain his reasoning for being absent from the dorm for so long and hug him in a silent promise that everything would be alright again.

That he didn't have to suffer anymore.

That the members would start behaving like a family again.

But of course that hope had never become a reality, no matter how many times he listened to the recording at the crack of dawn in his dark room, no matter how many times he walked along the beach that was him, no matter how many nights he cried himself to sleep because Minho wasn't there.

At this point, no matter how much it hurt, he had to admit to himself that he couldn't keep living in the past anymore.

What good did it do to reminisce about the way things used to be when there was no possibility that it would ever go back to being like this?

There was a deep crack in the group, one that he wasn't sure could be fixed at all.

It certainly couldn't at this rate.

The wind suddenly picked up, messing up his hair, and he adjusted the collar of his jacket as he shivered in the cool breeze.

He'd been outside for a while now, he should hurry and get back home to deliver the medicine to Felix.

Pressing the bag to his chest, he hurried down the street, back to where he had come from and against the steady stream of people all wanting to get further into the city.

And that was where it all went wrong.

So horribly wrong.

He noticed the smell first, that acrid, intense smell of something being on fire, noticeable even through the cold wind, coupled with smoke he saw rising behind some houses, but he didn't make the connection just yet, instead keeping his gaze fixed on the display of his phone as he pondered making a call.

He felt on edge and restless and he really needed some reassurance right now, but since Minho couldn't give that to him, he had to call someone else.

His finger hovered over Chan's name, but he discarded that possibility as soon as he thought about it.

Chan had other worries at the moment, he didn't need Jisung's baseless and ridiculous fears to trouble himself with.

He kept scrolling.

Changbin?

Could he call Changbin?

To put it mildly, the older boy hadn't been all that nice to him lately, but Jisung was willing to look past that to a certain degree, so he tapped the call button and waited for his phone to connect.

_It rang once._

He turned into his street.

_Then twice._

He looked up, immediately seeing the massive force that was swallowing the building, the flames rising high into the sky as if they were trying to burn it away.

_Then three times._

Jisung froze for a moment, unable to do anything else except watch the flickering fire with wide eyes, while his brain was going a hundred miles per hour.

_Then four._

Their dorm.

Their dorm was on fire.

It was as if the world screeched to a stop along with his sudden revelation and he seemed to black out for a short second because he was overcome with the feeling of the ground being ripped away from under him and a torturous heat attacking him.

The phone slipped out of his hand, shattering under him, but the ringing was still there for a moment longer as if it wanted to taunt him.

Something crashed to the floor right next to him with a heavy thud, burning and crackling as the ceiling groaned, barely able to stay where it was supposed to be.

His own breathing echoed in his ears.

Sweat was running down his body, making his clothes stick to his skin uncomfortably.

His vision hadn't yet cleared, still obstructed by all the smoke that caused him to tear up as he fought his way through what had once been their home.

It was hot, so immensely hot that he felt like his head was going to explode from all the pressure and before he knew it, the heat had forced him down on his hands and knees and he was crawling instead.

It wasn't much better, but he took any little improvement as an improvement nonetheless.

''FELIX! SEUNGMIN!''

His voice was raspy, drowned out by the fire and the sound of something crashing down behind him that made him jolt in fear.

He was shaking, his hands grabbing for some sort of purchase on the heated ground.

What he was doing was dangerous, dangerous and stupid, but he simply didn't have time to wait for the fire fighters to handle this because every minute they took could be a minute too late.

And he wasn't going to watch someone close to him disappear from his life again.

It would haunt him for the rest of his life.

His fingers bumped into something hard and from his very limited knowledge of his surroundings he could conclude that it was probably the stairs, so he heaved himself up with the intention to climb them.

His head heavily protested against the sudden movement and he hit the wall to his right hard with his shoulder, but it didn't hurt anymore.

He was barely able to breathe with all the smoke around him and although he would have expected his throat to burn from the hot air, he didn't feel anything.

''Jisung?''

Normally, it would have been impossible to make out the soft question with all the noise from the fire and the collapsing building, yet somehow, Jisung heard it and his gaze wandered upwards to the top of the stairs.

He couldn't really see anything through the smoke, but someone was sitting up there, he was sure of it.

He took an unstable step up the stairs.

And it was really as far as he got before he heard the ceiling above him groan and protest.

His brain had slowed to a stop, so he didn't register what was about to happen, but the person at the top did and they came rushing down to embrace Jisung, almost bringing them both to fall.

''I'm sorry.''

Minho.

A hand was in his hair, fingers combing through his wet strands, the other on his back, soothingly rubbing circles.

As if that would do anything.

''I'm so sorry.''

He was pressed tightly to Minho's chest.

''So fucking sorry.''

Jisung glanced up at the ceiling that was moving from side to side due to his hallucinating mind.

''Yeah.''

And then it suddenly stopped.

''I'm sorry too.''

And came down instead.

[6/9] Nightmares of the same lies.


End file.
